• Domain Boundaries Limits

    Limits and desires are defining agreements. Without knowing what our right and responsibilities are our boundaries can not be embodied. By knowing our limits in defined agreements our boundaries becomes clear and our domain solid.    

  • The Wheel of Consent – Whiteboard animation

    Who is it for ? The Wheel of Consent is a framework to separate doing from giving and show deeper levels of receiving. It shows clearly who is doing the action and who it is for. Betty Martin developed this structure 10 years ago by analyzing the 3 minute game,

  • The Poly Vagal Theory meets the Wheel of Consent

    The Wheel of Consent has more to offer than what you might think on first introduction. The reason the Wheel of Consent works so well is because, as humans, we all have the same potential for connection in our nervous system. When playing the 3 Minute game, where the Wheel

  • That word, ‘Energy’

    Someone recently wrote to me, saying that they are working on their presentation for a conference (in Montreal!) and they had heard that in my classes I prefer people to not use the word ‘energy’, and asked if I would explain why. Word gets around, I guess – Montreal! (http://amours2.com/)

  • Sex work, men and women and the Wheel, Trust, Choices and Integrity

    A conversation Manuel Harand in Vienna. Manuel asks about, and we talk about, how I started on this path, what sex work means, how men and women differ (in general) in exploring the Wheel of Consent, how we learn to trust, what happens when we learn to take responsibility for

  • 2 Hand-outs

    Woo-hoo! It took a while but here ya go – A 1-page booklet on the 3 Minute Game … and the shortest possible explanation of the quadrants. To print: Set your printer at 100%. (Your printer’s default is often 96%). This makes the folds come out right. To fold: www.youtube.com/watch?v=21qi9ZcQVto

  • Webinar Recording: Working with other practitioners

    Here’s the recording of the webinar with Dr. Susan Kaye and myself. We talk about the Triadic model – therapist, client, body practitioner-or-surrogate. What the practitioner needs to know and what the therapist needs to know. Here’s the training we have coming up in October in Philadelphia:  Like a Pro

  • Interviews

    Here’s the lovely Charlotte Cronquist, who took Like a Pro last year in Berlin. Most of her podcast is in Swedish, but for us she switched to English. This is not about the Wheel of Consent, but more about my personal journey and changes. About 35 min. Thank you Charlotte!

  • The Bossy Massage

    (40 min.) I discovered this one somewhat by accident, some years back, and the more I play with it, the more powerful I notice it is. The point of this one is not the ‘massage’. It’s not the touch at all – it’s the process of noticing what it is

  • Teaching your Client to Touch (audio)

    Here’s the recording of our free teleclass on Jan. 6, 2016. Here you get to hear about the basic principles as well as some steps to take. (Includes bonus topic – why Betty hates the word ‘appropriate’) ======================== Teaching your client to touch (1 hour) To listen: click the link.

  • Thoughts on the Taking Quadrant – with Harry

    (5 min.) I love Harry! Here’s a clip (from a longer conversation) in which we ruminate on things related to the Taking Quadrant.

  • Q&A on the G-spot massage

    (11 min.) I have a very different view on the G-spot massage than most people. Recorded at Like a Pro, Oakland, 2014.

  • Learning you have a choice

    (12 min.) This is somewhat of an extension of the Bossy Massage – same principle. The receiver, or ‘client’ directs every step along the way. Once I started playing with this one, I heard that someone else was doing something similar (Clinton Callahan) and that he had had excellent results

  • Sex work, healing work (audio)

    One of my favorite topics! Sex work, healing work ~ What is the intersection of sex work and healing work? And what are they, anyway? (1 hour, May 2011) To listen: click the link. To download: on a PC, right-click – on a Mac, control-click and save-link-as.

  • How to play the 3-Minute Game

    (14 min.) Thank you to all the friends who so generously starred in this video! DOWNLOAD THE BOOKLET:  Letter Size, for US A4 size for Europe, Australia and UK WHERE IT CAME FROM: Here’s a conversation with the inventor of the game, Harry Faddis, with another description of how to

  • 3 Calls on Consent – for practitioners (audio)

    Here’s a series of calls from spring 2015 – Beyond the Basics, for practitioners. This is one long lesson, but in 3 parts. To listen – just click the link. To download – on a PC, right-click – on a Mac, control-click and save-link-as Call 1 – Never ask permission

  • Notes on teaching the Wheel

    (20 min) After the Like a Pro class in Berlin, a number of students had questions about teaching the Wheel of Consent to their students and clients. The short answer: Take what is useful and add it to what you’re doing Don’t try to explain the whole thing!

  • What we have backwards

    ( 6 min.) Here’s a clip about what most of us body workers have backwards. We tend to think the doing is what counts – but there is another piece that has far greater ramifications, both in the moment and long term. From Like a Pro, Oakland, October 2015  

  • Facilitating Groups (audio)

    I love facilitating groups – I love that people learn so much from each other, and both challenge and support each other. I’m part of the teaching team for Foundations of Facilitation and the Cuddle Party Facilitator Certification course. These 2 tele-classes were with my co-facilitators – Marcia Baczynski and

  • For practitioners: on taking turns, receiving and being a client

    Harry and me: get on the table, dear!

  • Shame and empowerment in hands-on session work

    (24 min.) An overview of basic principles about hands-on session work – what it is that creates awareness and empowerment and why the choosing is more important that the doing. This was some last minute brainstorming at Like a Pro, Oakland, October 2015.

  • Receiving, giving and one-way touch (audio)

    One Way Touch ~ How it works, how to love it, why it feeds you. What you need to know as a professional. This was at the request of a few Sexological Bodyworkers. (45 minutes, includes questions at the end, July 2011) Receiving and Giving ~ Each of these feeds

  • Sacred Sexuality (audio)

    Is it a useful concept? Hmmm . . . depends . . . Sacred Sexuality ~ What’s the fuss? How and why it can be helpful and how it might not be. And what is it anyway? (1 hour, August 2011) To listen: click the link. To download: on a

  • 2 more on consent (audio)

    A few more from the files . . . Consent, Boundaries and Mentoring professionals ~ I am interviewed by Laurie Handler on her WebTalk Radio Show. (about 45 minutes, June 2011) Consent ~ Consent is more than permission. What’s a request, an offer, an invitation? How the art of consent

  • A conversation with Harry Faddis

    (1 hour) Harry Faddis is the inventor of the 3 Minute Game – thank you, Harry! This spring I got to finally meet Harry and we had a nice long talk about that and more. (The 3 Minute Game is what gave rise to the 4 Quadrants and The Wheel

  • Options – what to offer your clients

    Here’s the short version – just a definition. Below is the full version, with more questions and discussion with the practitioners there.

  • Ethical Practices: Containers, Conversations and Assessment Protocols for Somatic Sex Educators and other Sex Workers

    Here is the recording of last week’s year’s webinar, presented by The Somatic Sex Educators Association of Canada. The prevailing theme is – What is best for the client? We discuss: the client’s feeling of safety as enabling them to do their most meaningful work the importance of the container